Haunted by His Goodness

Naturally, I am what they would call a feeler. I am acutely aware of how I feel almost every second and I am very likely to make a decision from how I feel and yes I have made terrible mistakes this way in the past. But now that I am in Christ, He has been teaching me what a gift it is to feel and because of my relationship with Him, and how much I have grown to know what His Presence, His voice, His leading looks like, feels like, He has been using my feeler personality to discern good things and bad things as well.

Of late, I have been feeling haunted, haunted by His Goodness. I almost feel like Moses when He asked God to show him His Glory in Exodus 33 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.” 19 And the Lord said, “I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.”

You know, we have it better than Moses and the Israelites had, we can now see God’s Glory in the Face of Christ and nothing says Glory than what He did for us on the Cross, than Him being raised from the dead and making us a New Creation. We can now enjoy The Father without fearing that He will strike us for our sins, but we can come to Him, to His throne of Mercy as we are invited to in Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

He has done so much for us, just by His Blood alone and this will always be the most favorite thing He has ever done for me, for it is the invitation for us to be reconciled to God, for us to be grafted into God’s Family, so much so that He gives us His most precious Holy Spirit to in dwell us and to be with us. Now, we can boast in Him for we have One who says of Himself that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

Everyday, I wake up and my soul, my heart and my mind are drawn to Him, for I have found Him to be what I truly need now, need forever. I have encountered in Him, the lover I have always wanted, craved. I have encountered in Him the stability I have always craved for. I have found in Him the encouragement I have always wanted, because only He is Living Hope, Boundless Hope. His Word alone is the only Word that can be absolute Truth, not mere philosophy but Words that are Spirit and Life, Words that are Eternal.

I have found in Him what life can never offer, what human beings can’t offer in full. I am haunted by the beauty I have beheld and I cannot keep it to myself! Just like the woman at the well, I have found, rather, I have been found by Him who is Living Waters and just like Paul, I would say that His love is what compels me, compels me to proclaim the message of reconciliation that the Father has bestowed on us who are in Him.

2nd Corinthians 5: 20-21 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

So, the question, that I will always pose to you, is, will you receive Him? Will you receive He who made the first move to you so He can be with you in a way others haven’t been able to experience Him? He longs for you so intensely, so madly in a way no one else can. Will you receive Him as the pure and Free Gift He is? All you have to do is come to Him as you are, acknowledging your need for Him, for His forgiveness and accept what He did for you on the Cross.

He is making His appeal to you from what you have just read, question is, will you accept this Free Gift to Humanity, to you personally? If you would like to see His Glory, His Goodness in the Face of Christ, let us know in the comment section below and we shall pray with you. Don’t harden your heart to the most beautiful of Kings to ever exist dear one

Been thinking…

Been thinking about the Father, about eternity, about the Life He chose for me before the foundation of the world..

Been thinking about how much He has loved me and bought me to and for Himself..

Been thinking about the day I’ll meet Him and how Glorious it will be..how much I’ll know His Knowing of me and His love for me then..Been thinking a whole lot about Him..
Counting the cost, commiting to continue seeking Him in all things
Been thinking about all He’s been teaching me

Been marveling at my new identity in Him…
Marveling that he wanted me and decided to call me to Himself.. Marveling that I’ve found what I’ve always wanted..and I’ve found it in His person

Been thinking about the legacy I want to leave and live for my kids and for any that I come across as the Father and I journey together from here to home..

Been thinking about how He’s showing me that infact I’m His and that will always be my identity..Been thinking of how I have a New Family in Him and that’s how it will always be

Every day I wake up and I feel Him close and I’m reminded of what Jesus did for us on the Cross because only by His Blood have I/we come to have this beautiful place of unbroken communion with Him..so I say thanks to you Dad, thank you Jesus and thank you Precious Holy Spirit…You dear Lord are so beautiful!!!

Who knew you were the Forever I was looking for?

You were the Steadiness my heart always sought for, always longed for.

The Strong-Hold I have always craved for 💜

Now that I have encountered you, my heart is at rest for it has found all it has ever wanted and needed in you and you only.

You, My Eternal God. The One whose commitment I will never have to doubt or Lose, the One whose Love is enough forever
You are the One whose audience I’ll forever have. You are My happy ending 💜

~ I am the Daughter He so tenderly loves

My Fourth Year in Christ, My One Perfect Bridegroom

It all started with a drawing, a drawing towards something I had never considered perse or even admired.

I was drawn to something I didn’t understand even one bit but I couldn’t ignore the Pull. I didn’t know who was pulling, but the pull was definitely too loud to be ignored.

So I talked to many people about the Pull, and just the right person for the job helped me get to the Puller and I did.

A few days or weeks passed as I read about the Puller and learned that the Puller had a name and He was and is My Father.
I didn’t in my own strength come to this Life nor in my own ‘goodness’ just the sheer Love of A Father I prayed to in the Lord’s Prayer but didn’t quite know.

And so our journey continued, continued because He had been pulling me all my life, but now it was time for my adoption into His Family and so I got saved, I became a New Creation, I became His Child, born again, redeemed, made alive to God among many other things that identify me.

He introduced me to Himself slowly but surely. It was subtle yet noticeable. His Word became so alive to me, almost as if the Words jumped off the pages and straight into my heart, sometimes convicting me, reassuring me, correcting me, explaining things I had experienced without a single soul telling me I would actually experience this and that.

Before reading Romans 5:5 and seeing that the love of God had already been poured into my heart, I had already experienced it. Before being told about the Peace that passes understanding in Paul’s Letters, I had already experienced it.
And that confirmed to me that indeed there was something that happened when I obeyed the Pull to get saved.

One day as I was walking, I heard His voice and no it wasn’t saying leave your Country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you, but it was the same voice that said those words to Abraham that spoke to this little clueless baby and He called me and said, “Baby Girl”

He called to me severally till I realized I actually have someone living in me 💓 and I asked Him, ” Are you actually speaking to me?”

I didn’t know He could speak to me, let alone call me such intimate words and so, these revelations made me want to unravel Him, rather He unraveled Himself to me.

Then I met my little friend called the flesh and miiien is he a bad friend to keep. My flesh on the other hand met my other Good Friend, The Holy Spirit who is more powerful than this flesh and whose slave I now am.
I struggled unlearning submission to the flesh and learning submission to the Ressurection Power, The Holy Spirit living in me.

I limped at it but began to learn dependency on The Holy Spirit when my flesh would scream to be satisfied. Even now I’m still learning how to surrender to Him in all things.

This first year with God was full of lone time with Him, forgiving people I didn’t know needed forgiving, healing in my heart especially. It was the beginning of a renewal of this little girl’s mind, a mind that was once hostile to God and now submitted to Him. A mind that didn’t think her as valuable, worthy of anything good until she met a Good God, a Good Father, A Good Friend, who loved her for nothing she had done but because He is Love and He just loves her.

His love wasn’t and isn’t based on good grades, a fit body, a light or dark skin but because He just loves. He is Love.

So this Righteous and Holy God clothed me with Himself and I began to walk in the freedom He won for me. I had a blissful year with Him. He is Bliss

He became the obsession of my heart and He still is.

My story is much like the prostitute in Luke 7:36-50
She has been forgiven of all her many sins. This is why she has shown me such extravagant love. But those who assume they have very little to be forgiven will love me very little.” Then Jesus said to the woman at his feet, “All your sins are forgiven.” All the dinner guests said among themselves, “Who is the one who can even forgive sins?” Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith in me has given you life. Now you may leave and walk in the ways of peace.”
Luke 7:47‭-‬50 TPT

It is also much like the man who was formerly demon possessed till he met Jesus and this became of his Destiny

The man who was now free of the demons begged to go with him. But Jesus sent him away. He said to him, “Return home and tell how much God has done for you.” So the man went away. He told people all over town how much Jesus had done for him.
Luke 8:38‭-‬39 NIRV

So here I am saying that I am just a girl who was lost in my sins till I met the Holy One of God who is so kind as to take me in His Kingdom 💖

So I’m grateful!! And you can have Him in your Life as well. All you have to do is believe in The Son of God who died for you on the cross, died and was buried, He rose again from the dead and now He is seated at the right hand of the Father. He calls to you everyday, will you listen? Will you come to the kindest person to ever walk the earth??

He will come soon and I pray that if you have never given your life to Him, do that today that we may all go with Him to heaven. If you won’t have given your life to Christ by then, sadly you will have to go to hell where there is only torment. Consider the option you have now while you are alive, how great God’s Mercy is as to give you a chance every day to hearken to His call 💖💖

Give your life to Christ, I promise you, it will be like you have never lived all your life. Maybe that’s why He calls it being born again, maybe.

Happy Anniversary to you my darling husband, Jesus Christ. My forever Perfect Bridegroom!!

I have never seen you, but I love you Jesus

I like to look at your creation and just soak in the fact that you, My Father made them by just speaking; the stars, the clouds, the birds of the air, I love them all ♥️

and I wonder how beautiful Your heart and Mouth is that You are able to do that.

You touch my eyes that I may look at the beautiful clouds You will one day ride on when You come back for me

Your heart must be really really really beautiful ❤️
more than I know now ♥️.

Be magnified in my Life, My King ♥️

Thank you beautiful Holy Spirit for making Jesus known to me. Thank you for showing me how real He is ♥️

I am so glad He is not an abstract idea.
He really did and does and will always do what He has said in His Word.

You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy.
1 Peter 1:8 NLT

A Letter to My Sweet Sweet Abba

Hi Dad,
Thank you so much for saving me at 21.
Thank you that I didn’t have to live more years apart from you.
Thank you that I’m not an orphan and I will never be one coz I have you ♥️
Thank you for Fathering me, for showing me your beautiful self ♥️ thou I do not deserve to see such majesty, to hear from one whose mind is so vast, whose heart is so beautiful!
I don’t deserve an audience with you but you speak to me, you make me know how near you are.
You well up inside my heart.
You hold parties in my heart ♥️
You feel so good 🌹
Oh how beautiful are you My King.
I want to see you more, in the morning when I rise.
I want to keep hearing your beautiful whispers so full of love and hope ♥️ during my day
I need you everyday Jesus. You are so humble ♥️
May I learn of you forever and glean from you as I do life with you ♥️

Thank you Daddy for giving my heart rest, my soul a home, my life, Life Himself. Thank you so much that you exist and you are real, not some abstract idea that men have conjured up.

I have indeed found my ‘The One’ in you.
May all who read this know you as Daddy better ♥️ May they know you as Lover of their souls better. May they know you Dad as their Home, their Mother, Friend, Brother, Sister and all else they will need in this life.

I have tasted and seen that you are All together lovely, beautiful, Majestic, Vast in all things, So Holy, yet so near a people whose hearts are prone to wander from you.
I pray all this for me as well 🥰🥰 may I know you deeper than I’ve ever known or will ever imagine possible, in the name of the one we love and is loved by Our Daddy in heaven, Jesus name we pray. Amen

You have loved me, us Ferociously, madly and tenderly.

We belong to Jesus ♥️ Thank you My Abba. My Sweet Sweet Abba ♥️

The Only Confidence I have …

I really believe that in the end, our hearts will melt for the Love that has been there all along. In sickness and in health, in heartbreak and in wholeness, in all the mess in us and around us , in doubt and in ‘certainty ‘ ,in the twists and turns of life.

I really believe that with all of my heart. One day we’ll know the one who has known us inside out. Now I know for as long as I’m here I’m not immune to trouble or trials .They will come but I have confidence in someone greater to keep me. If I’ll look inside for comfort it will only be in His Spirit in me.

I’m glad I got to see our ugliness first hand. I’m glad coz only then was I able to realize I can’t do life alone anymore. I need Him desperately.

I really really do need Him to live for Him

May I be in Awe of you Jesus Forever

He says He likes it when we call Him Jesus
He says He always has my attention
He says, if only we’d only focus on Him, then only then would we realize how close He is.
He is all-powerful yet so Humble.
One of His children sang that “On the earth you rest your feet
Yet the hands that cradle the stars
Are the hands that bled for me.

No one is as humble as He is.
He is Holy.

He is all together lovely.

He is pure bliss.
He is the God who sits among us, with us .
He is such a Good Dad, A loving one full of compassion.
He is Holy yet He doesn’t treat our sins as they deserve ♥️

In Hebrews, He says It is not to angels that he has subjected the world to come, about which we are speaking. But there is a place where someone has testified: “What is mankind that you are mindful of them, a son of man that you care for him? You made them a little lower than the angels; you crowned them with glory and honor and put everything under their feet.” In putting everything under them, God left nothing that is not subject to them. Yet at present we do not see everything subject to them. But we do see Jesus, who was made lower than the angels for a little while, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. In bringing many sons and daughters to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through what he suffered.

Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters. He says, “I will declare your name to my brothers and sisters; in the assembly I will sing your praises.” And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again he says, “Here am I, and the children God has given me.” Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham’s descendants. For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.
Hebrews 2:11‭-‬18 NIV

As days go by and as He shows me Himself in scripture, I am shook by His Goodness!! I see my creator, the one I belong to so Glorious!!! He is so Good. He really is Love ❤️ The more I read about Him, the more I think, I’d be stupid, really stupid to not abide in Him. If we never do any other clever thing, let us abide in Him, it is wise. He is Wise.

I belong to Him and to Him alone ♥️, My God, My creator, My Lover, My all in all!! I want to remain in Him forever and ever Amen!

My Musings to Our Daddy in Heaven

When I’d only heard of you from others, I didn’t know that you loved me. I didn’t know that you were close ♥️I didn’t know that it was you I was looking for in others, in things.

I didn’t know that I could hear your beautiful sweet sweet voice.I didn’t know that I can only be complete and satisfied in you. 
Once my sin was the reason I fled from you but Oh your Love is Greater, it will always be greater!!

You didn’t stop pursuing me, wooing me to Wholeness, to Holiness ♥️

Now you call me Holy, Now I see in your love letter to us that you chose me before the foundations of the World, Oh what privilege it is to be known by Our one Perfect Dad in heaven, Our Perfect Bridegroom, Our one Perfect friend and Our only God who is worthy of all our Praise forever and ever
and now I know that I belong to you and you alone!! You Jesus are my rightful owner!!! 

and may I live it as it is in Jesus name. Amen

I was Gomer and He was my Hosea

Turned 25 some 2 weeks ago.

I have spent 25 years on earth being pursued by the one I like to call THE ONE. I finally accepted His pursuit of my heart four years ago. He is the one I like to call My Perfect Bridegroom, the one who is so Holy, so Perfect yet so humble that He is mindful of a people who have been relentlessly seeking all others and forsaking Him.

The four years in relationship with Him have been filled with joyful cries from His tender love towards me, in His voice, leadership, Mercies and acceptance of me. He has given us a gift that is eternal, a companion for this life who resides in us and spreads His love for us in our hearts.

Indeed, I am so grateful for who My Perfect Bridegroom has been to me, My Love, the love I have always craved for, the love I have tried to seek in others and faced disappointment time and time again. The closer our relationship became, the more things I didn’t know were in me began to surface. His love held me still even when my dirty rags were seen for what they really are.

In 2019, I got weary and decided to lean on my own understanding. Life in Him became too tiring as things weren’t going as I had asked Him to make happen. I decided to fade away from the One who has loved me even before I was conceived in my mother’s womb. I tried to revive the old me but God is too Faithful to let us go from His fold. He loves us loads!!

I rebelled for some months because I thought I was wiser than He is. I figured, I understood myself, understood life on earth better than He did. All the while, He showed me that His eyes are still on me, and no they were not condemning eyes, they were more like, I still love you and I won’t let you out of my sight.

I went down the wide road that most choose and as always, there is only pain when we pursue our fleshly affections rather than what He asks us to, Himself. I went down a road that almost cost me the only relationship that is more important than any other, with Our Heavenly Father.

I t took time to be restored to Him again, it took days where I would start talking to Him and end with, ” I don’t want to talk to you right now” and I would close my journal and sleep. Still, never one to give up, He pursued me in the pig sty I was in and drew me to Himself again. I was His Gomer and He was my Hosea ( which, fun fact means, ‘He saves’)

Though, I wouldn’t wish to go back to my old self, ( as if I can), I am grateful for the lessons I learned after my Gomer days were over. I can say I know Him better and I am more aware, that only God is Good, only He loves, satisfies, only He is safe. Our relationship is deeper than it has ever been. He showed me how much I had put my feelings as a god instead of elevating the truth of who He is. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/102597697744549082/

Some kidogo reference for the photo caption; https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hosea+3&version=ERV

At the time, the verse that kept me grounded is “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” Deutronomy 6:5 NIV . He showed me how fleeting emotions can be and though they matter, they can never take the place of God’s Word. He made me realize the importance of intentionally being in His Word, the importance of seeking Him first. I began my returning to God by being intentional as He has been with me, choosing Him back as He has me.

I came out of my gomerness with a deeper conviction that He is a Good God and how privileged we are to have communion with a Father so Good. I am able to trust Him better, way better than I did before. I trust His love for me better than I ever have and I am so grateful for this life Jesus died to give us, a life of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit . I don’t know if I can express in words how grateful I am for God now.

Now, I see, that I am set apart to Him, that He has sealed me with His precious Holy Spirit and I ain’t going nowhere, I am bound by love all-round me. So now, my heart and mind are more attuned to His Word more than what the reality of life looks like. I treasure Him more. I can say that now, I am truly commited to Him.

Now, I can stand and say that, money or no money, I still love Him, I still want Him. I can say, husband or no husband, He is still my God, My Perfect Bridegroom, My one and only Good Shepherd, the one who knows me inside out, yet promises to never leave me nor forsake me. I belong to Him and to Him only. He is my King, my forever King!

So, for the years to come, I pray for me and for you too that we may choose Him back as He has done with us. That we may honor His sacrifice on the cross, remember how compassionate He is as to give man honor when they did not deserve. He has given me joy unspeakable and peace unshakable.

I look to Him and Him alone. No one else satisfies and we belong to Him who we’ll go back to once we breathe our final breath. He loves you, you can trust that, and He is Perfect in all His ways, In the hill and in the valley, He can get you through anything. To love Him back is all I want for the rest of my life, however that looks like.

Do you have your own Gomer story? I would love to hear how God chased after you as you ran away from Him. Let us celebrate Him here, exalt Him for He truly is Faithful. He is Good. If you are still running, you are welcome to share with this community what’s been up, we can stand with you in prayer.

Mbarikiwe sana