Love on The Cross

I thought maybe a shorter dress would keep him around , more lipstick.I thought if I proved how knowledgeable or opinionated I am he would finally say `She is the one’ .I thought that maybe just maybe he would say, I will take you with all your flaws.I thought he would stay for a longer time than the ones before him.I thought if he saw how `cool` I am by taking a drink or two of that brown bottle he would accept me..He didn’t.
Well maybe if I went to the extreme of smoking that pot of sheesha he would stay around. That didn’t work either.. I went back to Church, I thought well..maybe he likes Church girls.Still he wouldn’t budge and I was already burned out.
As a cover up for my hurt and brokenness I his behind the mask of a ‘feminist’.I hated almost everything about men.Anyone who tried to get near me would get a piece of my wounded heart.I built walls, cried severally at night.I was never enough for anyone..I wanted to prove myself to everyone that I really am enough.
One day a voice so soft and loving told me what I should do and I did.He showed me what love is.He showered me with joy unspeakable.I cried to Him so He could fix me and He did that and much more.He forgave me, set me free , gave me a new life, a beautiful life and now I Iive for Him.I desire Him more than anyone or anything else.I am not ashamed to write about His goodness.I wrong Him so many times yet He still stays.

So many times has He saved me from the Fowler’s snare..He has been my healer, provider, teacher, strength,hope and so much more.Without Him I am lost.

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I was looking for love in people and the pleasures of this world and all this while more than 2000 years ago someone thought of me and came so He could die for me and you too reading this.

John 15:13 No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends.

If you are like me before I found true love this is for you.You don’t have to try so hard anymore You can turn your life around.All you have to do is give Him all of you and watch how He will transform you. Give Him your brokenness.He loves you as you are.His Grace is sufficient.It doesn’t matter what you did.

Pray with me and confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus is Lord and God raised Him from the dead.

Heavenly Father, I believe that you gave your son Jesus Christ to die for me.I believe that He is Lord and you raised Him from the dead.Forgive me my sins, make my heart your home now and forever more Amen.

If you have prayed that prayer and believed it you are now born again.I welcome you to God’s family.You are His child now.God bless you and keep you.I love you.

He chastens everyone he accepts as his son

So there is this chapter that has  really blown my mind.I was hesitant to read it since its title says God disciplines His Sons. I don’t know about you but discipline to me  sounds like mom’s pinches , red slipper-beatings and my former principal’s slaps, even worse it reminds me of Morning preps back in boarding school.So coming across a chapter talking about God disciplining us,well I was not exactly excited to read it.I think we just like to bask in the fact that God loves us and how He is so gracious forgetting that Hebrews 12:5 -6 says that….

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,6because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”^a

Verse 11 says that, No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful..I really thank God that I finally got to read the chapter.It took my mind back to the things I have mentioned here that I battle with such as selfishness.Maybe yours is anger, gossiping, pornography, homosexuality etc..but have you ever wondered if at all we would be delivered quicker from these things we battle with if we pursued righteousness more earnestly.While it may take time to be delivered from some things , have you ever examined your heart and asked yourself if maybe you are too comfortable in your sin? Well be challenged by verse  4 It says, “In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.” Are you the kind of person that says, well you know this habit runs in our family, or maybe you say that well, I am a man/woman and I have needs. You could be have a reason to justify your sin and as reasonable as it may sound in your head, you have not stuggled to the point of shedding blood.

Paul talks about his struggle in Romans but guess what?There is good news for you at the end of it and He lives in you. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^c For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Paul goes ahead and talks about His weakness in 2nd Corinthians 12:8-10  So to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. 10That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Be encouraged and make a resolution to be disciplined and always remember what 1 John 4:4 says, You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

 

Take it to God

1st Peter 5:7
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
This verse has me in awe of just how good our God is. It fills me up with soo much joy just thinking that He really does care for me. You know  if you read it again you will realize that it doesn’t  say some worries but ALL your worries. How amazing is that? I can tell you for a fact how He has been so faithful even when I didn’t see hope. I was just telling Him the other day just how good He’s been (He still is ). There was a time I was really sick and I actually thought it was time for me to meet our Father in heaven. I had such little faith and knowledge of how much He loves me and cares for me that I went to the extent of asking if at all He could see me in distress.

Talking and walking was a great deal at that time but somehow He came through for me. I could go on to tell you how He has used people to encourage me when I felt so down just to remind me that He cares for me and He’s watching over me. I could also tell you how He speaks to me in His word. See how 1st Peter 5:7 has me all inspired to write an article .

I remember after being born again I was in a dilemma and I didn’t know who I should hang out with because truth be told, you will need to walk with people who are in Christ as you are so that your walk with God is not compromised. About four months later,  I realized that God had already put in place people who would become a major part of my spiritual growth. I have friends who I can tell you God put in my life because He knows what I need. He has it all in His hands and to top it all off He cares for me.

As you read this I hope you know that God loves you so much and He cares for you. Take your worries to Him and trust that He will come through for you. He won’t let you fall because He is GOOD  you are His child.

See what Matthew 7:11 says If you, then, though are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him!
My Bible has an exclamation mark at the end of that verse, I hope it will be engraved in your mind and heart that you can call on Him for whatever you need Him for, He’ll answer you.

God loves you

I remember reading something a while ago that when God goes after every single lost sheep until it is found. He pursues a relationship with us and does not ever get tired of looking after the lost Luke 15:³ Then Jesus told them this parable: ⁴ “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? ⁵ And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders ⁶ and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ ⁷ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. . Looking back six months ago before I stepped into God’s love I am convinced that this is true.Out of nowhere, my heart just kept on yearning to be born again.I had never desired to be born again because well I had to leave some  ‘good things’ for a ‘boring life’ .That is what I thought anyway .

We would be chatting with someone about something as simple as what did you have for supper? or how was your day? and somehow I would start talking about this desire to be born again.It happened a lot until I went to visit my aunt who God used to lead me to the light. My life has never been the same since.I always thought that I am the one who chose this life but noo, God found me.He chose me for His own purpose. I may not see it yet but it is a privilege to be used by Him, to be chosen even knowing too well that it is not because I am good or that  I do not sin.

I remember when I first learned about God’s grace (undeserved favor)  I couldn’t  stop marveling at that and that is when I learned about how much He loves us whether we are believers or not.He did not spare His own son when it came to showing how much He loves us.  ^{Romans 8: 38-39}  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

  I just wanted to know Him more and do His will not because I want Him to love me more but because I love Him.Sometimes it is hard but He keeps me strong.

After some time I started reading His word and I realized how alive it was in me.I finally understood John 3:16 .It wasn’t just a memory verse anymore.I believed it in my heart .I came to know peace and joy unspeakable.I have come to learn that the Bible has power.You can get through any scheme of the devil through His word and get out victorious.You can get through depression, brokenness (si ile ya pesa) , illness (fill in whatever you are going through ) .I can assure you that it is not too big for Him. All you need is faith.

I hope that as you read this whether you are a believer or not God loves you so much and if you are lost as I was, do not let your heart been hardened by your pride or your sin .You can always run to Him. His arms are always wide open for you.You can always give your life to Christ and you will find peace and joy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Sword of the Spirit , the word of God

I had been struggling for so long with so much from selfishness, unforgiveness, moods that swing from happy to sad and irritable and what they call defeated thoughts, the ones that tell you hey you are not good enough, you are too fat, too this too that, you will never be that ,you are not confident enough , your dreams are invalid, you are not loveable and just so much negativity in my mind until I met the author of my salvation, my shepherd Jesus.

A few months after being born again I still did not quite understand the life I have been called to.Then I started to crave to know God .I started reading His word and as I read something in me started to feel alive. While seeking, I came across 1 John 4:4  You dear children are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. I dicovered that I am no longer a slave to those thoughts and behaviour. It took a while for that to sink in but now anytime defeating thoughts come my way I use this verse to  counter those thoughts .

Truth be told, I sometimes forget who I am, God’s daughter and let those thoughts overcome but God in His own way and love uses someone or something to remind me that He cares for me and He loves me .He comforts me and I remember what He says in 1 Corinthians 1:9 God who has called you into fellowship with his son Jesus Christ our Lord is faithful. With this I know that even though I may fail sometimes, Philpians 1:6 tells me that, “For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

In the midst of all the things I struggle with, I know He is with me and He will continue to work on my heart and my mind through His word which is my sword. I leave you with this and I hope that you will be encouraged in the Lord. What do you struggle with and how do you counter it?Do you succumb or do you fight your struggles ? Use your sword , God’s word and defeat what the devil is planting in you.Get down on your knees if you will, seek God in His word for as Psalms 119:105 says  “Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” Praise Him with songs and you will see your joy will return, the devil will flee.Do not be depressed because of your situation, choose to see that you have overcome and carry this verse in your heart and mind in all your struggles 2 Corinthians  5:7 for we walk by faith, not by sight.

Ephesians 6:10-17

 10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. 11Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. 14Stand firm therefore, Having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness , 15and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Once, I thought I had it all together

Adorned Woman Kenya

For three whole years we shared the same class, same lecturers, and same streets but shared in a conversation, was a quick hi and “you look nice today” on a few occasions. Except a hi.  Up until an early Monday morning when we happened to sit next each other while waiting for Father Njoroge’s CAT. Father Njoroge is the only lecturer on earth who’s CATs force you to cram every word in your notes.

Remember those English tests in primary where you have a list of words on two columns and you are supposed to match a word with its meaning? He’s CATs are exactly like that, only that in this case you it was a Communication and law test.

Anywho, we sparked a conversation and I really marveled at this beautiful chiq who was talking so passionately about writing and being an ardent feminist. A month later, I got…

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MY TESTIMONY

​I knew of a girl born in the late 90s born to a beautiful woman and a handsome man in a bed sitter hehe. I knew of a girl that was raised in a family that loved each other and never did she experience neglect or fights in the family. It was all love, all roses. 
I knew of a girl that was  taken to them private schools and never once was she told to go back home and come back to school because her fees were unpaid. Never did she lack a thing. 

I knew of a girl that loved to read the Bible and pray while in high school and never once was she disappointed. 

I knew a girl who joined campus knowing God and the things He abhors. 

I knew a girl who decided to quiet her conscience and do the things this world praises so highly. I knew of a girl that stopped going to church and went where the wind blew her. I knew of a girl that leaned on her own understanding and forgot that she did not create herself. 

I knew of a girl whose Sundays were like Saturdays or even Fridays. She was too proud to admit that she was draining in the cares of the world. She leaned on the counsel of men whose ways were as perverse as hers. 

I knew of a girl that thought she was cool if she used them cuss words, if she put on that short dress that showed a little bit of skin, you know some thigh here and there, I knew of a girl that thought just because she took alcohol once in a while, she was better than they who drunk everyday. 

I knew of a girl that worshipped Beyoncé and looked up to her. 

I knew of a girl that took pleasure in all the things this world 🌍 to the extent that she would support Kim Kardashian’s ‘confidence ‘ as she posted those nudes. She’d literally write a 7000 word article lol about how Kim is an icon. 

I knew of a girl that even with all the blessings on her head she thought she deserved them just because she is.

I knew of a girl that never went hungry or was unhealthy at any one time. 

I knew of a girl who looked for things,  people and pinterest quotes to please her soul but only for a while. 

That girl died. 
Rom 8:10 ” And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness.” 

She was born again ☺. Jesus put to death whatever belonged to her earthly nature. Jesus opened her eyes and her heart to the truth. Now she does not seek to please men but God. 
I now know of a girl who is just so in love with God and His word  and though not perfect she would rather be at Jesus’ feet than anywhere else. God’s grace saved me,  God’s grace sustains me and I am more than happy to be His daughter. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves,  it is the gift of God-” 9 not by works,  so that no-one can boast. 

 

Winfrey Reborn

To the rest of my life with Him straightening my paths and going before me. To the rest of my life saying that I no longer want to be proud. To the rest of my life putting Him first. To the rest of my life saying that He is mine and I am His. To the rest of my life saying that He loves me more than anyone ever will. To the rest of my life being grateful for how gracious He is. To the rest of my life learning to forgive myself and others. To the rest of my life saying that He is the beginning and the end. To the rest of my life praising Him with the gifts and the opportunities He’s given me.

To the rest of my life acknowledging Him and learning about Him, His love , His grace, His mercy,  His heart,  His will and His wondrous works! To friendships that inspire me to learn more about Him Cc
http://Josnduati.wordpress.com

https://adornedwomanblog.wordpress.com/
To overcoming challenges with Him and asking Him for wisdom every time. To praising Him even when I don’t feel worthy because I know He redeems lives from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
To Learn to trust His heart and will because I know that His plans are to prosper me and not harm,  plans to give me hope and a future.
~God’s daughter, more like Winfrey reborn ☺

Of Self love and Acceptance

I need you to hate being just beautiful and curvy. I need you to hate being described as just a woman. I need you to hate being average.
I need you to hate that comfort zone. I need your ass out there doing shit. I need you to be more than average. I need you to explore your mind, your potential. I need you to crave growth and learning new things.

I need you to get out of that comfort zone boo 😍

I  need you to actualize your dreams no matter how crazy they may seem. I dare you to be a contrarian. I need you to get on that stage . Hunny I want you to give your best in everything. Let’s see the best version of yourself darling in everything.
I need you to hate being treated like a doormat. I need you to be assertive. I need you to stand up for yourself. I need you to say how you feel even if it may seem too much to the other person. I need you to remember that you can get what you want,  need and deserve. I need you to be yourself always. I need you to understand that you’ll never be perfect but you can be your best.
I need you to remember that even though you learn shit about life,  there is no one time it stops. There is always something that you don’t know, so please be humble always. Don’t be too full of yourself.
I need you to always choose yourself simply because you matter. I need you to walk away from things that drain you. I need you to choose your happiness. I need you to be selfish for a lil’  bit. I need you to be kind to yourself. I need you to look at yourself with beautiful kind eyes.

I need you to have your back always. I need you to stop beating yourself up so much. I need you to learn and make different mistakes and learn from them too. I need you to  give yourself pep talks. I need you to tell yourself that you can do this even if you don’t know how. Darling you’ll figure it out. I need you to always give yourself a pat on the back everytime you put yourself out there  for the harsh world to see. Darling I need you to appreciate people who always have your back, people who never give up on you,  people you turn to when you don’t feel enough or loved, people who remind you that you need to fight the battle in your mind. I need you to appreciate them because they are the wingless angels in your life .

Even when you overthink so much till it hurts, remember that it’s just a phase. It’s okay to break down once in a while boo. I also need you to not play the victim mentality. I need you to get back up. I need you to wipe those tears away and put on some mascara and smile. I need you and I need you to need you. Remember that my dear.
Darling, you have a good heart and you’ll be broken at work, by close friends by almost friends,  by spouses and even family but I need you to remember this about love, relationships and brokenness :

They say that these days, relationships are effed up,  men are afraid to show emotions, women are too independent to be committed and isht like that. I actually get it,  you have dated a cheater,  a ghost,  a total douche bag and even a malenge kinda man or woman and you gat burned. Isorait if you take more than the three months they say is enough to move on but don’t take too long,  show yourself some love.
After being broken people go on about, I’ll never find another like him or her and you are right, you will find better. Brokenness tells you, you’ll never love the same way and it’s right because you will love with a wiser heart next time. Brokenness tells you, men are dogs and you are right, you just have to keep the right dog with you by your side. Brokenness tells you that you are stupid and it’s true because you made a wrong choice,  don’t dwell on that though you’ve learned your lesson I bet.
Brokenness will say to you, love is not meant for you, don’t listen to it. Everyone deserves love, it is wonderful.
Brokenness will tell you that you are worthless and baby I am here to tell you that you are sooo worthy of every good thing.
Be broken for a while but love yourself and and break away from being broken. It changes you but let the change be for the best, don’t be guarded and be open to new and better possibilities.
GO RUN THE WORLD BOO AND LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS.

Double Standards

You know how sometimes you wake up feeling like you are on top of the world (like Kim .K.West) and you finally post that nude pic of yours? No? No? Get a life bana! What do you with your free time? Brush teeth?

Okay so let’s go back to when you are still feeling like you are on top of the world and you finally tell your ka crush to come over to your crib so you can watch some new telemundo series you heard her gushing over with her girlfriends and then it finally happens.

You know you want to tell her how much you like her yellow yellow  skin and beaurifully drawn eyebrows and then those bedbugs with their little brains and painful bites just decide to show up, just like that without notice, you know.

They bite you once crawl up bite another area and crawl up again and bite you again until you just finally with a loud loud witch of east end yell ‘Baby I love you like the way Winfrey Njoroge likes ketchup, rice and potatoes in one plate but I have to deal with these bedbugs first’.

Hint: To all my boyfriends my birthday is on March 23^rd btw you showing up at my place with a bottle of ketchup would be great)

So anyway a classmate of mine who I just keep stalking decided to yell about the bedbug in the room which is the double standards that we women sometimes exude in our quest to look classy and all without working hard for that cash. I won’t name names coz y’all know yourselves.

There is this guy who is really working hard to make a name for himself and he is doing so well especially in terms of a loaded pocket and there is this girl his two heads like but he knows not of her character. So his heads decide that they need to know this lady very well. He approaches her, she says yes because who doesn’t like free food and the date goes well. The guy isn’t satisfied so he sets another date, another date and another one (Say my name baby, Dj.Khaled! ) So the dates have been favoring her especially and your two heads but your pockets Nada!

She has been ordering Hawaiian food in the land of Mursik and only Mursik and dessert, who even does that? We are nowhere close to a beach but she has the audacity to order Hawaiian food. Speaking of, where did they get Hawaiian food anyway?

One day you decide to pay her a visit to her place because your head lied to you that you are more romantic than Miguel of that new telemundo series. She welcomes you and decides to cook for you those small fish that die in the rudest way possible. Speaks fish language: nioko mhuo jkkii a to mean ‘C’mon fish if you are going to die, at least close your eyes .

Don’t leave us wondering if you gonna resurrect in our six packs. So you actually eat those dead-alive fish and then you teremsha with strong tea and trust me that tea does not have omega 3.You have a lovely time and you decide to go back home wondering why a simple girl who only cooks omena and strong tea would see you and start ordering Hawaiian.

That is when you finally realize that you have been are a jackpot and she hit you pretty hard. Don’t beat up yourself so much though because first of all, thank God she is not your wife. Secondly you are the problem and I can let you in a little secret so that you do not go for these lil’ ol’ diggers.

Do not play victim and understand that you flashed your ATM too soon and people have a thing for jackpots, it’s just very normal. Understand also that I do not support opportunists, I am just saying do not show them the jackpot first.

Thing is I am always in for women empowerment and I have to say that I totally bash and loath male chauvinists so I’mma say this once or frice if need be, ‘you guy who has already built his empire or is in the process of doing so. May you pris pris pris for the love of my yellow skin date someone who is either building her own empire or has already built her empire.

Do this so that we do not have to reblog this post.

You woman of substance pris pris pris for the love of your curves, do shit with your life.